people - Sartre was right

I know, to some people in my life, it seems that I'm not doing anything to improve my health. But I think they have the wrong end of the stick.

Some of them worry that I don't eat healthy because I'm not 'willing' to eat a piece of cake or to heat up a pre-fab frozen meal. Because I eat a restricted diet that avoids most fresh fruit in favour of cooked fruit, they sometimes think that I am making myself sick. The fact is that I've been over my diet in detail with 2 dietitians, 1 nutritionist, 3 naturoptaths, 2 gastroenterologist , and several nurses - all of whom highly approve of my diet.

Not to mention, I am always trying new foods.

I manage my symptoms first and foremost through my diet, and it works.

It's just annoying that when I spend a night awake and in intense pain because I cheated and ate both tomatoes and potatoes in the same meal, then someone, as an attempt to comfort me(?), tells me that I don't eat enough potatoes and that I really should eat more fresh tomatoes. They say this while they are scoffing down highly processed cookies and then later wonder why their blood sugar numbers were so high.

I tell you, some people have no grasp of cause and effect.

It is assumed that I pick and choose which foods I like to eat and then model my diet around that. Not true!

Foods I love, nay, adore, but cannot eat include: chocolate, garlic, beer, fresh fruit (gives me blisters - cooked is fine), nuts (cannot chew them), take-out pizza, Lipton's Chicken Noodle Soup, peanut butter, sesame seeds, SUSHI, Just about every Japanese food save Tofu, Potato chips, cheese puffs, Gold Fish, Beef... and of course, dark chocolate champaign truffles.

It is very frustrating to be told I'm doing something wrong by someone who doesn't understand what's going on. Why can't I cheat and have a chocolate chip cookie (which is being waved in my face and smells yummy which is so tempting for me)? I explain that the last time I cheated and ate garlic, I ended up in the ER 3 times, and hospital for a week. The person mumbles that one little cookie is not going to hurt me - as if I was trying to insult them by refusing the wrong-food.

You see, this person is a diabetic and has been for some time. Instead of avoiding sweets and processed foods as the doctor advises, they cheat on their diet several times a day and then wonders why their blood sugar fluctuate so much. They could stop eating wrong foods and very likely rid themselves of most of the problem - but instead they are constantly looking for the next magic pill that will cure them while they continue with the behaviour that causes the symptoms (and possibly in their case, the illness).

Speaking about magic pills. This is another annoyance I have with some of the people in my life.

Thank you for taking an interest in my health problems. Even if you didn't believe me when I told you that arthritis is a major symptom of Lyme the dozen or so times I told you over the last few years. You do believe it now because you finally read it in the news paper.

If the newspaper said so, then it must be true - the half dozen health professionals I've seen and the books they told me to read are obviously lacking the necessary credibility. And sure, it really helps that you now tell me four times a day that it hurts because of the Lyme. Something I already suspected, but never really felt confident about because the local rag (that cannot even get the weather report right) had not printed anything about it before.

But what I really wish, is that you wouldn't take it as a personal insult if I don't jump with enthusiasm at the latest magic cure you tell me about.

It is not that I don't appreciate that this is how you try to share in my life, but you could find a better way to do so.

You see, I've already heard of magic pill X. Not only that, I've already taken it at least two years ago.

Buying a far more processed version of the herb/medicine/treatment at three times the price, is not likely to make it work any better. Besides, 'more processed', usually means 'more soy' and since they don't label the ingredients - I can't safely take it.

So yeah, I'm not interested in the 'new' magic cure. It's going to cure me in two weeks, but I've already tried it for several months. They are just trying to take your money and feeding off the empty hole left by the medical profession who fail to take Lyme seriously.

From my point of view, it looks like you don't think I'm doing anything to help my health. Which is very annoying coming from people who complain about things that they are more than able to fix, but too lazy to do so. It's like these people need to have something to complain about rather than to act. And, lately, it feels like I'm that latest thing.

Funny, because I go out of my way not to complain or talk about my health on a daily basis. I don't like thinking about it and complaining about it just reinforces the despair. That's one of the reasons I don't blog here very much any more.

All the pills I've taken, all the treatments, all the care in my diet and environment, that I am slowly improving, and the fact that yes, I am still trying new 'cures' all the time --- all this counts for nothing with them. And I do love them. I just wish they would respect me and trust me.

Because, it is just possible that I know a thing or two about what I'm doing. ...

.... But then again, I am female and I am younger than them, so obviously I know nothing about male dominated areas like medicine, agriculture or mechanics.

Sorry all. I just needed to rant.